(Camp Street Records)

www.campstreetrecords.bigcartel.com

Doctor Johnson was, as always, right when he observ'd: "Amongst the divers colonial Practitioners of the rocque & roll Arts, the Upper Crust do stand Periwig & brocaded Shoulders above their musickal Brethren, peerless amongst their Peers, verily unsurpass'd in their dedication to the Riff & in their Cultivation of the finest poetickal Language, not to mention their patrician Breeding, sartorial Elegance & impeccably goode Manners."

In Light of such an extravagant & effusive Panegyric, it was with no small Pleasure that we took Delivery of an Epistle -- by Medium of the electrickal Post -- apprizing us of a brand-spanking new Record Album by the heretofore mention'd young Gentlemen of the Upper Crust. Said Epistle, soliciting our Reflections & Disquisitions upon this Item of Novelty, issu'd from the redoubtable Viscount Frederick Mills of Asheville, Editor of the very Scandal Sheet upon whose Pages your gentle Gaze now rests.

Having fortifi'd ourselves with a generous Glass of Porter, we gave ourselves o'er to Revenge for Imagined Slights and to the multitudinous aural Pleasures contain'd therein.

Legion are the Members of the fourth Estate who chuse to opine most scurrilously upon the Debt of the Upper Crust to colonial Rapscallions the AC/DC. Such libelous & calumnious Falsehood is worthy only of severe Disapprobation & Rebuke. The Truth of the Matter, we are reliably inform'd, is that subsequent to his Deportation Order and whilst awaiting Transportation to Botany Bay, Master Ronald Belford "Bon" Scott did chance upon the Musick of the Upper Crust, which he thenceforth usurp'd for his own Ends.

Discoursing upon the poetickal Arts, the venerable Horace insisted upon the Necessity to instruct & delight in commensurate Measure. Such sage Counsel yields a goode & sound critickal Criterion with which to reckon the aesthetickal Virtues of this Record Album.

As to the first Principle, one cannot but delight in the divers aural Pleasures so generously administered by these pueri mirabilis. Electrickal Guitarists Lord Bendover & the Duc d'Istortion disport gaily, assailing one's Ears with Riffs of a bellicose Heft unparallel'd since Colonel Clive prevail'd 'gainst the Bengali at the Battle of Plassey; & neither are their electrickal Guitar Solos of trifling Import: shewing the dainty Intricacy & outrageous Flamboyance of the choicest French Costumerie, the Duo soar like paired raptor Birds far above the foul & pestilent mobile vulgus. Moreover, Mister Jackie Kickassis summons the Entirety of his virtuosic martial Weight to bear down upon his Instrument, sallying forth with a Cannonade of Drums akin to that which was heard when the Eighth Regiment of his Majesty's Army march'd victoriously on the Field at Culloden. Furthermore, beneath the lithe, febrile Fingers of the Count Bassie, the Strings of the electrickal Bass acquire the Girth & Elasticity of the fearsome Sumatran Python.

We are also impell'd to marvel at the Refinement and Bedazzl'ment of the Poesy herein. Wielding Words as does a Chirurgeon his Blade upon a diseas'd Organ or a gangrenous Member, the Upper Crust fashion eviscerating Satire to rival that of Mister Swift. Moreover, the unbridl'd drollery of certain Ballads minds us of the ribald comedic Oeuvre of the late Mister Wycherley. Furthermore, the great Attic Tragedies hold not a Candle to the emotive Potentialities of the dramatick Scenari, which would wrench a Catharsis of delicate & sympathetick Sentiment from the Breast of e'en the most brutish Peasant.

And all this, dear Listener, deliver'd in Voices worthy of the most angelick Quire.

But beyond this veritable Menagry of aural Delights, in which Matters doth this Record Album instruct us?

We are inform'd, not the once but twice ("Wine Women and Song" & "Rococo"), of the Pleasures & Perils of the masqu'd Ball, with especial Attention to the possibility of engaging, unbeknownst, in terribly lewd Behaviour with one's own mater familias; "Long Table for Two" shews us that the Duc D'Istortion, contrary to our Expectations of the continental Gentry, is most misfortunate in his amorous Pursuits; "Hereditary Insanity" & "Bedlam" advize us as to the Hazards of In-breeding so common to the privileged Classes; & although we are in no Need of reminding, we learn that the Upper Crust are indeed of noble Stock -- the composition "Class up the Ass" leaves no Doubt as to this Matter.

Especial Note should be made of two plenteously congenial Ditties: the rambunctious & uproarious "Bedlam" evinces Kinship with the finest Juvenilia of the Motörhead; & "Chateauneuf-du-Pop," moving at a Velocity to rival the ingenious Mister Watt's new steam Engine, strikes a decidedly more modish Note, imbibing the Influence of that most ungentlemanly colonial puncque rocque Troupe, the Ramones.

In summary, Revenge for Imagined Slights is a Record Album of the first Quality. If, as the Bard has noted, Musick be the Food of Love, then the Upper Crust enjoin their serving Wenches in the Delivery of a sumptuous Banquet of aural Delights.

It has been an Honour, if not a Privilege, to discourse herein upon the Subject of the Upper Crust.

I remain, with great Respect and Esteem, &c.

W. NEATE

Standout Tracks: "Long Table for Two," "Rococo," "Class up the Ass" WILSON NEATE