Take the 2010 US Rock Band Census

Do you ever think about how awesome it would be to make it big? Well, the U.S. Government wants to know about it!

By Fred Mills

It's 2010, and that means some underpaid schmuck canvassing for the U.S. census is going to be knocking on your door any day now, asking you personal questions about how many adults, children, illegal aliens and Republicans live in your household. You don't have to respond, of course, but hey, if the census taker happens to be pretty hot, consider inviting he or she in for a beer and then tell ‘em you'll answer all their questions if they'll have sex with you.

"Dear Penthouse, I always thought that the letters in your magazine were fake until last Friday afternoon when a blonde census taker with large breasts and dressed in Daisy Dukes knocked on my front door..."

Anyhow, we've just learned of another census going on right now too: The 2010 U.S. Rock and Roll Band Census. Our buddies over at hi-nrg D.C. pop band The Public Good have kindly transcribed the census questions at their blog, and we highly recommend you scoot over there and start answering those questions - they've kindly provided the webspace so you don't have to worry about wasting a postage stamp.

As the band explains, "This is how your government determines distribution of Rock and Roll Bands in the United States." So it must be important, right?

Among the key questions:

How many people do you think of as "in the band," at least most of the time?  Count all musicians regardless of whether or not they're any good.  Include managers, roadies, and hangers-on/groupies who dance on stage and/or play unamplified tambourine.  Do not count anyone in a jail, prison, nursing home, or other detention facility. 

Is this a real band, or are you just jamming?

o  We are as real as it gets.

o  We're just jamming.  But the other day I turned on the radio and I was like, man, we could do that.

Do you ever think about how awesome it would be to make it big?

o  Yes.  It would be totally awesome.

o  I try not to think about it.  But it would be totally awesome.