THE MOST FUCKED UP THING I’VE EVER SEEN: Angus Khan
Jan 21, 2010
The band's bassist recounts the Legend of Big Joe - toucher of death, consumer of meow mix.
BY DINO EVERETT
Long ago, we had a friend called Big Joe. Joe would do anything at any time-the more shocking, the better. He was like a giant, strong Sid Vicious with the sort of youthful energy that would generally land him in deep trouble, and eventually landed him underground when he flipped and rolled his truck for the last time.
Joe was super fun, and we had a special sort of crazy kinship. I have many fond memories of him walking down the street, jumping up and smashing his head against the street signs, usually slicing his forehead. He had the kind of scars that professional wrestlers usually have from cutting the same spot so often the skin no longer heals properly. And the very first day we arrived in Hollywood, all green and ignorant from Florida, Joe was so drunk he walked down the middle of Hollywood Boulevard screaming, "I want to punch somebody! I want to hit someone hard!" But he was so big that no one would ever dream of challenging him.
Anyway, on the trip out from Florida, we were driving through Texas late one night. There's a stretch that seems to go on forever and is as black as night. If you're sharing the road with anyone else, you're lucky. Around 2 or 3 a.m. we saw another car about ten to fifteen car lengths ahead of us. Suddenly it swerved and pulled over-then we felt a quick bum-bum-bum-bump under our vehicle. We too swerved off to the side of the road.
We got out of the truck and saw the couple from the other car walking toward us. Joe leaned over something in the road and yelled, "It's a dead guy... Look at this shit." We saw pieces of torso and flesh that was once a man on a motorcycle. We wondered how long he had been there and what should we do. The couple said they had a phone in their car (this was 1989, so it was one of those giant ones), which meant that we could leave and continue on our trip to Los Angeles and become rock stars. Figuring it was his only chance, Joe went back to touch the dead body. Then we jumped in the car and drove off to LA.
Touching that dead guy wasn't the most fucked up thing I saw Big Joe do. One time he ate cat afterbirth. We all went out drinking afterward, and we wondered aloud if he could get a girl to kiss him that night - and he did! Someone's first kiss may have been the most fucked up thing I have ever seen! Yuck!
Angus Khan's most recent album, Black Leather Soul, was released by the Nickel And Dime label. Check out the band at their MySpace page.
[Photo Credit: Alison L. Beier]
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