LOOK AT LIFE / COCO HAMES

The Ettes Present Their Touring-Band Food Tips: How would you feel about bathing in some baked beans? You'd feel really good about it, that's how you'd feel...

By Coco Hames

Part of the justification for living in a van -- with three other people and one-to-two dogs, constantly driving around the country, not doing laundry or sleeping -- is 1) we get to play rock shows, and 2) we get to eat exciting, awesome regional treats! 

The best Chinese food in the country is in New York, though Poni and Jem assure me the New York Chinese diaspora has created a good pocket of Chinese food in south Florida.  New York DOES have the best pizza (and bagels, they say it's the water), and do not even try to engage me comparing Chicago deep dish with New York pizza: there is no comparison.  Like what you like but don't compare apples to oranges; they ain't the same fruit.  Same goes for California-style fancy pants thin crust gourmet pizza with figs and prosciutto; give me a break.  That is delicious but it's not the same species as a wonderful, perfect, regular old slice of New York cheese pizza.  You may only compare pizza slices within New York City and Brooklyn.  Thanks. 

We get cheese steaks in Philly, and most people will tell you (if you ask them whether Pat's or Gino's is the best) whichever has the shortest line at the time you go is your best bet.  That's good advice.  Philly cheese steaks are hard to mess up, long as they gots the gooey cheese and onions ("whiz with") and you also should use the granular hot sauce and chuck on some chilies!  Also I hear Tony Luke's is good.  But Italian beef in Chicago is a whole new world.  Get it dipped (in au jus) and with peppers (spicy or sweet, it's up to you) and you cannot go wrong. 

Seafood is always best nearest its home, and we've had memorably killer seafood in Rhode Island, California, Louisiana, South Carolina, Maine and Florida.  I'm partial to Floridian seafood, especially the kind you can get at J.B.'s Fish Camp in New Smyrna.  You sit outside (it doesn't matter how hot it is, you're on the intercoastal) and drink cheap beer and eat oysters they harvest on the side of the dock and watch dolphins cavort in the water. 

Nashville has meat-and-threes, which means a meat (roast beef?) and three sides (mac and cheese, collard greens, black eyed peas, green beans, mashed potatoes, etc.) but I usually get a meat-and-one because my eyes are way bigger than my stomach.  And you get you some sweet tea.  At Arnold's. 

In St. Louis they have a special creepy pizza, which we call the ketchup gravy pizza, but evidently they mean to make it like that and we're supposed to like it, and we kind of always do.  Johnny likes ribs (who doesn't?) but the rest of the Ettes are divided on their favorite barbeque style.  Poni and I prefer North Carolina barbeque, in which you will find a vinegar-based bbq sauce (other common ingredients often include ketchup, onion powder, garlic, and sometimes grape soda!) but Jem likes Memphis-style, specifically Payne's (suggested to us by Greg Cartwright) where you will find coleslaw on the sandwich and no decipherable sauce, which purists insist puts emphasis where it belongs: on the meat. 

Green chiles (they're not hot) in Arizona and New Mexico find their way into everything, and even though clever Trader Joe's sells them canned now, you can't beat them fresh.  All the chiles down around them parts, mmmm.  The Mexican diaspora in this country over the last ten years or so is indeed extensive, and so, so welcome.  Mexican food is so good.  You would assume Boise has potatoes, but how would you feel about local potato vodka and a potato burrito?  You'd feel really good about it, that's how you'd feel.  In your mouth. Texas is #1 for breakfast tacos and its own style of barbeque, but Austin just wins all around for best city in general, food included. 

We used to be very serious about the best Mexican food being in LA (not, as you might think, in El Paso, a city that is a stone's throw from Ciudad Juarez, Mexico) though San Francisco's taquerias (not the same thing as a Mexican restaurant) are pretty much the bomb.  Seattle has a real gift for rock-and-roll diner food (Hattie Hat's), as does Atlanta (the Earl).  Every city needs a rock-and-roll diner. 

A rock-and-roll diner is a place that typically features a highly tattooed kitchen and wait staff, and should be run by an ex-touring musician or skater.  The decor is casual and kitschy, there should be skulls and motorcycle stuff everywhere, there should be good local beer on draft, and the food should be structured as American comfort food (burgers, tater tots, meatloaf, fried chicken, etc.) but done in an inspired new (and usually more healthful) way.  More of these!  Everywhere! 

I'm obviously not mentioning everywhere we've ever gone or want to go (and eat), I'm just excited that we're headed to Wisconsin and Poni and I are looking for cheese, and Jem says he heard of a good local beer, yessssss!

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Blurt "co-co-editor" Coco Hames fronts The Ettes - Hames on guitar, Jem Cohen on bass and Poni Silver on drums - whose album Look At Life Again Soon and EP, Danger Is, were released by Take Root. Their new Greg Cartwright-produced album Do You Want Power arrived in stores Sept. 29, and you bet we've got a big feature on the band in our new print issue. Check out the band's MySpace page for music and tour dates.