Menace to Society

Menace To Society

by Otep Shamaya
 
I write to you today from the burning green of the deep, deep South. It is a hot and humid day that fosters a weighted atmosphere of sloth and fury. Perfect. I have been asked and eagerly agreed to speak at a church rally in support of a grassroots movement hoping to rid our society of the most morally egregious degenerates we have ever known. I think we all know who I refer to. And yes, I joined this crusade to combat this diseased vermin before things get out of hand. As we've seen all over the news, these degenerates have started to organize politically and demand equality.
 
But never fear, fellow citizens, this threat will not go unchallenged, I assure you.
 
Our nation was built on the good God-fearing Judaic-Christian heritage of Andrew Jackson, George Wallace, General Custer, Nixon, McCarthy, and J. Edgar Hoover. We are not, nor have we ever been, a nation of equals. We are a nation of chutes and ladders. Everyone knows this. But this group of hooligans intends on disrupting the status quo.
 
Well, this will never do.
 
The social terrorists I am referencing (and opposing) are the notoriously strange and flamboyant RED MENACE, better known on the street as "Gingers".
 
Indeed, we at the "National Organization for a Red-Head Free America" are outraged at the recent hubbub and associated ruckus these "Gingers" have created by demanding equal rights and many other absurd notions that plainly do not apply to them.
 
We have done our own studies and proven that blondes and brunettes are physically superior and have more brain mass than Gingers. In fact, we have proven that the "Ginger Gene" is a myth and an abomination in the eyes of God. Have you ever seen a picture of Jesus? What color is his hair? I think I've made my point here.
 
But despite all this scientific and religious data some of these reprobates openly celebrate their sinful lack of pigment, freckled skin, and burning bright hair as if they deserve to be equals among us! Shameful!
 
We firmly believe that being a red-head is a choice. Sure, some might be born that way but they could easily assimilate into society if they accepted their deformity and decided to live as the rest of us, and remedy it with a quick dye job.
 
These freaks of nature must not be allowed to live openly in our society. What about our children? We all know the evil inside the Ginger heart. They want to convert our kids. And what will we do once our children start painting their hair red and painting freckles all over their body? Oh, I shudder at the thought.
 
We must protect them from this Crimson Tide bubbling to the surface of our national awareness. It is more important now than ever! The Ginger Rights Movement is demanding that it be made LEGAL for them to marry EACH OTHER! Holy Christmas! Can you imagine what will happen next? You guessed it: A godless red nation of milky-white sin and orange flair debauchery. 
 
It is a historical fact that Ginger equality caused the fall of the Roman Empire. Is this what we want for our beloved America? To be brought down by Gingers?
 
If only our government would take a stand against these mongrels as they have against the other misguided miscreants our society has tamed and tolerated over the years.
 
Why can't they treat them like we do the Gays?
 
Our government has made it clear; you are not a full citizen if you are not a heterosexual. Gay Americans don't have the same rights as NORMAL Americans: they can't marry, they can't join the military, but they must pay the same taxes. Heck of a deal, if you ask me. They subsidize our narrow way of life ....just as God intended.
 
I know the Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal. And yes, we hold the truths to be self-evident. How could we not? But I stipulate here today that if the implication of the language the Forefathers used in the phrase "all men" also applies to women (we believe they meant HUmen) then I argue today that it implies the additional qualifications for equality: Caucasian, Republican, Wealthy, Christian, Heterosexual, non-Ginger.
 
So, you see, my friends, that yes, America is the land of the free and land of opportunity - but only within limits. I mean, let's be real here. As a species we need our hierarchies.
 
Gingers and Gays need not apply. 

Singer/frontwoman/activist/poet Otep Shamaya has led her band Otep through 4 albums of NIN/Sonic Youth inspired metal. Check out her own blog at http://www.imnotamonster.com/ and Otep online at http://www.myspace.com/otep