Dad Jokes

I'm a Baby Boomer.....not particularly proud of that fact but it's the truth. I don't own a cell phone, hell, I didn't even know what a "blog" was until I started writing here. At one time I was young and idealistic....now I'm old and realistic, the guy who embarrasses his kids in front of their friends with "Dad Jokes", random references to Roky Erickson and stories of drugs and hitchhiking. (That's right kids, I had to hitchhike to school in the snow...stoned....uphill....BOTH WAYS!!!).

So I thought I was going to impress the youngsters when I told them I was writing a blog for Blurt. I figured it would buy me a some credibility.....some skreet cred with the young'uns....after all this was Blurt, not some lame ass rag like Rolling Stone.. Instead I got "No one wants to read your old man stories"...and was dismissed as if I had just suggested we light sparklers for the 4th of July instead of setting off some M-80's. I'll show them, I thought....people will enjoy my old man stories....well, at least maybe some of the older folks will.  

I was wrong!

After 3 months of posting I have received two comments.....TWO.....to put it into perspective during that same time I have received 5 solicitation phone calls about buying funeral arrangements, 7 notifications that I have possibly won money from the now deceased Ed McMahon and 3 traffic tickets!! TWO FRIGGIN COMMENTS!! And my kids are laughing their asses off. at me....."What you gonna write about this month Dad?"....."The time you saw Peter Townsend pass out while sucking his thumb?". It's become a standard joke in my home and I have to fight back!

So I asked my kids for some advice....what should I write about? "Do what Rolling Stone does, just write a scathing article about GWB or the Republican Party" they told me "People never get tired of bashing Conservatives". Hmmm...how hard could it be to write about Sarah Palin having an IQ lower than an iceberg or why Donald Rumsfeld wears camouflage adult diapers. But then it hit me, this is a MUSIC blog, on a Music website, not KOS. So to tie it all together I decided to spout some embarrassing Dad jokes with that hip Rolling Stone political perspective.


THE TOP TEN HITS OF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION

10) "I Fought Al Gore, And Al Gore Won" The Chad Fuller Four

 9) "Cheney's Got A Gun" Aerosmith & Wesson

 8) "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" Al Queda & His Tali Band

 7) "Wipe Out" N. Ron Hubbard

 6) "Born On The Bayou" Katrina Backwater Survival

 5) "Getting Hot In Here" The Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Control

 4) "Papa Was A Skull & Bones" The Bohemian Temptations

 3) "All My Lexus Are In Texas" The UAW Singers

 2) "Screwing Up The War" The Dick Armey

1)    "Mow The Lawn" The Bush Girls