LOOK AT LIFE / COCO HAMES

Not exactly an Ozzie & Harriet childhood...

By Coco Hames

Ricky Nelson's creamy version of Gene Pitney's "Hello Mary Lou" was one of my mom's lunchbox 45s, and that worn little case took up residence next to the bunk bed I shared with my little sister for a good portion of the '80s.  Tom Jones' "What's New, Pussycat?" and a gospel "One More River To Cross" were in there, too.  But I digress.

I liked Ricky Nelson's songs with the same ambivalent tolerance in the way I liked Davy Jones' slow numbers: inoffensive, playful singalongs.  Children like these things.  So when my older sister told me that Ricky Nelson had twin boys, and they had a pop song out, you can imagine how excited I was!  Then she showed me a picture of them, and I was just flat out confused.  I believe we all remember Matthew and Gunnar.  Gunnar.  However, this family name obviously carried some weight in the world, so when I was desperate for a parakeet, and my parents finally relented, I named him Nelson. 

Nelson was a bird.  And I have a long history with birds, and not a good one.  Basically they like to die in my hands.  Just last summer, whilst repairing my parents' porch after a Nor'easter tore through some of the screens and chucked patio furniture willy nilly, I lifted an overturned chair to find a little hummingbird, sitting very still.  He had to have been trapped under there for several days.  I didn't know what to do, or how to help him.  I picked him up and tried to take him outside, and his little heart was beating so fast in my hand, it was not a good sign.  I think he had a heart attack?  Well anyway, he died and I buried him and gave him a little grave marker from a potted plant.

And another time, we ALL heard the chirping in the fireplace, it was quite clear that a bird had her nest up in there somewhere, and the eggs had now hatched.  And I said, "Mom, you'd better take care of that."  And she said, "I know, I know."  But when we came back from tour a few weeks later, my parents were out of town, so Poni and Jem and I walked our luggage into the living room, exhausted, only to find DEAD BIRDS EVERYWHERE.  And if they weren't dead yet, they were SCREAMING.  And then WE were screaming!  And we had to get a GARBAGE BAG and pick them all up, and then the mama bird hid out in the upstairs bathroom for a day and spooked Jem big time!

One tried to live.  But he didn't have eyes.  Or a beak.  I named him Phoenix and tried to feed him Capri-Sun and saltines, but HE died, TOO!

Anyway, Nelson didn't die, but evidently you're supposed to get parakeet's wings clipped every so often, so that they don't fly away, and I think we were remiss in this maintenance activity, because one day, I was walking around the house with Nelson perched on my index finger (as I often had him do, because I love that scene in Disney's Sleeping Beauty, "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream...") and all of a sudden, he immediately flew up into the air (he wasn't supposed to be able to fly, you see) and into the bathroom!  I chased after him, but he was so high up there, so I climbed onto the counter-top to try and reach him, but right as I got him in my hand, one of my feet went into the sink and I tripped, smashing Nelson against the mirror! 

He did NOT die, but we had to built a splint for one of his birdie legs out of a toothpick and medical tape, and then my mom gave him to our babysitter, because I obviously couldn't take care of him.

I also had a pig named Elvis Pigsley. 

*****

Blurt "co-co-editor" Coco Hames fronts The Ettes - Hames on guitar, Jem Cohen on bass and Poni Silver on drums - whose latest album Look At Life Again Soon (Take Root) is still a hot item, and they also have a new EP, Danger Is, released by Take Root and also available digitally, www.myspace.com/theettes), and a Dan Auerbach-produced limited-edition single. They recently completed recording sessions for their third full-length with Greg Cartwright (Reigning Sound) producing. Look for a release this fall.