For every eager romantic couple that counts down the days to spoil their sweetheart on Valentine’s Day, there’s an unsentimental couple that enjoys mocking the mushy holiday. There’s more to your relationship than candle-lit dinners, late-night declarations of love, or gross PDA-sessions on public transportation. Though it doesn’t bother either of you that you express your love in a different way than most, it does make celebrating the Valentine’s a little difficult. The stores are filled with saccharine tokens of love that make you want to cringe, and the Internet’s suggesting overly romantic activities that make you want to vomit. You might be close to giving up, but you’re in luck. Here’s a list of anti-Valentine’s gift that could show how much you care without being sappy about it.
A Funny Card
Valentine’s Day is also called the Hallmark holiday for a reason. An estimated 190 million cards are sent each year, and most of them are dripping with treacly love notes. You’d never send a card that has afive-verse love poem in it, so avoid the typical greeting cards this February. Exchange the typical schmaltz for humor with any of the cards from this list. You can find a brief, funny note that lets you celebrate the holiday without scaring your SO with cringe-worthy prose.
Yes, you read that right, pillowcases. It may not scream luxury like a pair of diamond-encrusted earrings, but you have to admit, the two of you love being practical, and you can never have too many bed linens. Throw in some humor by choosing a set that describes your nightly battle for covers and space on the bed with the My Side/Your Side couples pillowcases from Oh Susannah. This clean, subtle design is a great way of showing your partner you mean to gain ground on the night of the 14th.
The iPhone X may be at the top of the smartphone pile, but that doesn’t mean its without its faults. Its glass backing, which facilitates its wireless charging, is an incredibly fragile material that showcases evidence of every surface it contacts. If you’ve lost count how many times your SO has cursed this glass, then wrap up an iPhone X skin this V-Day. While it covers up any cosmetic damages affecting the handset, its real victory is in its prevention. It stops any more from happening because the designers at dbrand were fed up with the same issues. They only use scratch- and grime-free materials in all their decals, regardless of the color or texture you pick out for your SO. Go online to check out the latest wraps for the iPhone X to find a unique look for your partner.
The game for horrible people is perfect for the unromantic couple around Valentine’s Day. Why? Because you get to spend time with your mutual friends playing Cards Against Humanity, and you won’t be forced to recite any sentimental garbage to your SO. Instead, you’ll have to think quick to create the most provocative or insulting message possible with the cards provided. If you’re looking forward to seeing Black Panther or Infinity Wars in the theater, its Fantasy Pack could be the top choice this year. Of course, if you’ve never touched a comic book before, that’s okay, too. CAH has a ton of options available, including a make-your-own-pack if you’re feeling creative.
Supreme Streaming Experience
Some couples choose to go out for a romantic dinner on the 14th or treat themselves to a couples massage on the following weekend. You and your SO, on the hand, would rather stay in and binge-watch Stranger Things 2 in your jammies. If Netflix and chill is in your Valentine’s Day plans, you might as well do it right. Netflix, though the first streaming service to go big, is no longer your only choice. There’s Amazon Prime Video, HBO Now, and Hulu, and those are just three examples. (Check out this for your full list of options). While they will have some overlap, each service is known for its own unique content. Mix and match to get the best combination of shows for your binge-watching needs.
Pair it with a Roku Streaming Stick, Apple TV, or Chromecast. Each of these dongles cast your subscriptions right onto your TV, so you don’t have to log-out from Netflix once you’re done with Godless to sign into Amazon Prime to watch American Gods.
A personal assistant
Life can getaway with you when you’re busy. Between work, your commute, and—if you’re feeling peppy — time at the gym, it can be hard to find a time when both you and your SO are free to hang out. If you’re in threat of missing Valentine’s Day altogether because of your schedule, get a personalized assistant like the Echo. Powered by Amazon’s Alexa, it’s a talking AI that can help you organize your life and free up more spare time. All you have to do is call its name, “Alexa”, then ask it a question or command it a task. That includes finding a date in your calendar to schedule time with the bae. Not counting Alex Jones’ review of the Echo, it has pretty decent ratings from the top tech guides.
And there you have it: proof that Valentine’s Day gifts don’t have to be overly sentimental. While the rest of the world loses its senses over sentimental crap this February, you can keep your head with the help of this list of anti-Valentine’s Day presents. Celebrate your SO without stooping to overly cheesy levels, and get them something that won’t make them wince.